Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Four Years, Five Years Ago

Ice skating with Bonnie and Irene threw me back into a bit of nostalgia.

College was only four years, and, for me, it ended almost five years ago. I've been out longer than I was in, but college, and particularly the time I spent in AOII (perhaps mostly in the dining room), was so real. I didn't honestly feel that college was just a stepping stone, a waiting room on the way to the next thing. Although I would have done some things differently, had I the chance to do them again, I lived college.

I miss the smallness of my college world, the small circle of people who were impacted by my actions.

I've been telling Irene for about a month that everything feels so BIG now.

Going to the grocery store is BIG, because it means that I have to decide whether to drive over to the store by myself, on which day and what else won't get done because I go to Safeway. The grocery store in college? That was a treat! As in, who wants to go to the grocery store? I'm driving! All pile in! It was a field trip.

Getting gas is BIG. It turns out that my decision to get gas last night on the way home from work meant that I didn't see Wine Guy before he went to class. I didn't know he'd come home in between work and class, but he did, and he left at 6:30, about fifteen minutes after I ususally get home. A slight shift in my routine impacted someone else.

Last night, Irene said, "Everything seems so BIG now."

I said, "That's what I've been trying to say."

I didn't graduate college and step right into the real world. No, I think I rammed into the brick wall that is the real world after I got back from Boston, when I had to stop running away and start making decisions about my real life.

At the time, it felt like the running was the mature decision. Now I realize that sometimes standing still is the bravest thing.

7 comments:

thethinker said...

And I'm only expecting the transition from high school to college to be a big thing.... I guess I really am not ready for the real world, but who ever is?

Mrs. said...

..the bravest, the hardest and, often, the BEST!

Ruby said...

The transition was HARD...and in school everything was easier, funner, more intense, more real....I miss it. All the chores of the real world, like groceries and errands were actually fun field trips at school. Boo real world. Boo growing up.

Sarah said...

One of the 7th grade girls I teach defined adulthood as "having your decisions impact more than just you." I told her she has no idea how right she is, and she just stared at me...

singlemuslimah said...

I miss college. Everything was just more back then. I'm with Ruby; boo real world and growing up.

e.b. said...

But isn't great being a grown up and having to make all those decisions on your own?!?!?!

Sarah said...

I love that I can make my own choices, but they matter so much more now. That's terrifying! It's more, "Will saying this make my boyfriend leave me?
and "If I leave this town, will I be happier?" and less "What flavor should I get at Yogurt Park? And will I get it for free since my friend works there?"