Lately, all of my posts about Wine Guy have been "oh, he's so great!" or "Gosh, I miss him."
Well, he's back, and I'm still amazed at how glad I am to see him, even now that he's been back almost as long as he was gone. But, I'm also realizing something about myself that needs fast attention.
He has mentioned that I don't ask him a lot of questions, and this does bother him. It makes him think that I'm not interested in him. Quite the opposite, really. I worry that once I get started asking questions, I won't stop. My answer to his most recent complaint, though, was that I start to ask a question, then realize I already know the answer.
I've also come to the realization that I don't want to seem to pester him with a constant barrage of questions, as would be my natural tendency. I want to know what exactly he did during the day, who he talked to, what he saw, what is going on in his head. I want to know where he's looking for work, where he's applied, what apartments he's seen. I realize as I write this that I have every right to ask the questions and that I probably can do it without seeming like a pest.
I'm still scared about running him off if I don't act right, and that's a behavioral tendency borne of too many two-week-long "relationships" that ended on one person's whim (the guy's or mine). I am comfortable being in a real relationship, but I also have to get used to it being okay for me to be a girlfriend.
So, starting today, I'm going to make more of an effort to go beyond my insecurities and really become involved in Wine Guy's life.