Tuesday, August 29, 2006


So, in many ways, I feel that this time sans boyfriend is my training period. The chance I have to learn how to be myself, how to do for others, and how to interact with the world around me. Although not for the reasons that my grandma thought oh so long ago, I do, in many ways, live in my own little fantasy world.

At times, I take a break from my world to look at the real world. In the real world, I can see that boyfriends don't come with instructions, nor do they come along just to fit my schedule. I know that it's going to be hard, and I'm going to have to give up some things.

The answer to "what do you do for fun?" might have more to do with spending time with him (at this point, some unknown guy...sorry if anyone got excited there for a minute) than with spending time at my random little hobbies. Of course, fewer people should ask me that question once I have a boyfriend, because mostly it's only guys interested in dating me who ask that question in the first place.

The trick to all of this is to date someone who shares some of my interests and also respects my need to spend time with people other than him.

I'm in training. I'm paying attention to the people with relationships. I'm seeing that Bonnie and Hayley have their own lives but that time spent with their husbands is hugely important to them. It's nice to see women my own age not being swallowed up by husbands or boyfriends.

It gives me hope that although I'll have to make changes, I won't have to entirely give up myself.

1 comment:

singlemuslimah said...

If you have to "give up yourself" you're in the wrong relationship. Kudos to your friends for finding that balance. And don't worry, as they always tell me, your turn is coming.