Thursday, September 28, 2006

Love is not...

So, I am mildly obsessed with this song called "Hallejuah" by Jeff Buckley. In it, he says, "Love is not a victory march."

Having little to no experience with romantic love, I have to believe that this means that love isn't easy. Love isn't something you should lord over other people. Love is not something that happens only when the sun is shining.

A friend of mine is going through some fertility issues, and she's tired and scared and sad a lot of the time. And her husband, though he might not seem like the exact match for my friend, is incredibly supportive. We went, along with another friend, to Point Reyes this weekend. She came to my house so that we could ride together to Berkeley to pick up our other friend, and when she got here, she was on the phone with him. He was checking in on her, not because he's possessive and scary, but because she's been having a rough time of it lately. Love for them, is certainly no victory march.

Looks aside, it's the ability to weather the storm, the fact that two people can get through incredibly painful times together that makes love something I want.

I've felt lately that getting married, or otherwise being in a relationship, might bring more problems. I've got all my debt paid off, do I want to inherit debt? I've got hobbies and friends and a full life. Do I want to change any of that? But, here's the thing, hobbies will come and go. Friendships will change shape as people get married, have kids move away, and what matters is not the fact that I can sit and edit photos in peace or that I get to watch Gray's Anatomy without anyone making fun of me. What matters is that life is going to throw me a lot of challenges, and though some of those challenges might be different if they involve two people, I wouldn't trade love for anything. So, I still believe in love, but I'm coming to understand a bit more about what it really means.

No comments: