Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Myth of the First Date

So, I have heard a number of coupled/married people (both characters in movies and television and people in the real world) say that they miss the first date, that they're sorry they'll never have a first date again.

The thing I loved the most about having a boyfriend was that when I went to see him, I already knew him. I even told him once, "I was thinking on the way over here that I'm so glad I know you, that this isn't a first date." He didn't get it (he didn't get a lot of things about me), but the point is the same. We've long ago established that I like the middle.

But in addition to having a preference for the middle, I am developing an extreme distaste for the first date. Maybe I'm an exception to the rule of loving first dates, because that's mostly all I go on...there hasn't been a "real" second date since the boyfriend.

It's not so much a distaste for first dates as an immunity to their magic. We talked for five hours? Okay, most of my first dates last that long. We finished each other's sentence one time? Alright, big deal. The guys, on the other hand, do not seem immune to the charms of the first date. They usually call (or e-mail) to tell me what a wonderful time they had, and I wonder if they were on a different date. I have had some enjoyable dates and would currently like to go on a second date with two different guys, but I'm not feeling the same magic that they feel.

I met up with the Marine Biologist (finally). He recognized me because of my sunglasses. He was cuter than I remembered. We talked. We ate dinner. We went for a walk. It was nice. There were aspects of him I didn't like but acknowledge I'd need to experience again before knowing if that's reason enough to not date him.

And even if I didn't like him (which I think I do), I would be willing to go out of him again just to get out of this rut of first dates. A first date rut is like having to go to Disneyland everyday or like that story I read as a kid where every day was some point, the magic wears off.

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