Sometimes listening to a good song with just the right lyrics will make life make just a bit more sense.
A friend of mine gave me a wonderful CD of Christian music. There are times when I need it hammered into my head that God is out there, listening to me, hearing my prayers, and watching over me.
The plan I have for myself is not always the exact plan God had for me. Higher education? Okay, God's got my back on that one. Health in the clear? Okay, for the most part, that one's under control.
Romance? Now, there's something interesting. I think I am FINALLY (no, seriously) getting the point that the romance in my life will come in God's time and on God's terms. I have been given a little droplet of hope that what I am waiting for is out there and when I am truly ready, it will find me. Hmm, maybe a combination of cynicism and optimism is just what I needed. A total belief in the romance advertised in movies leaves no room for the issues of real relationships, the stuff that real love is made of.
The older I get, the more I realize what truly goes into love, and I want to take it seriously. Love is not something to squeeze in between homework assignments or to schedule once a week, when I don't have other plans.
For the first time, I realize that I am grateful to God for not giving me the gift of a relationship before I am ready to handle one. I fully believe that when I find my husband, we will have a fulfilling and wonderful life together. Sure, there will be issues (after all, he'll still be a boy, and boys are trouble), but they will be the issue I am willing to accept, issues I simply view as part of our relationship. There's a Garth Brooks song with the line, "One of God's greatest gifts is unanswered prayers."
Well, sometimes "No" is an answer. I understand that now.
Zora Neale Hurston said that there are years that ask questions and years that answer. I believe this may well be a year that answers - FINALLY!