Thursday, February 16, 2006

So, is this suburban angst?

Lately, I've been craving someplace other than good old F-town. Honestly, this time, I don't think it has anything to do with a European vacation (when I ran away to Boston, I was in search of London). I think I'm not willing to accept that it's my destiny to stay here, in a place I've known, loved and loathed my entire life.

I've said before that I'd rather be somewhere where I'm completely unknown than be unknown in a place that really should know me by now. I know it's not just me. I know it's friends who are ready to abandon the Bay Area, high prices, crazy families and drama galore. I know it's my mom who doesn't want to be stuck here, complaining that there's nothing to do for the rest of her life.

There are places I want to live, dreams that need fulfillment...

You know, I talk a lot about wanting a boyfriend, a husband, a settled life. That I haven't gotten anywhere close to that here speaks volumes not only about my personality but about this place. I don't want to raise my children here, so why I am looking for a man here?

Can you imagine the conversation?

Scenario 1:
"Hi, I just met you. Are you planning on living here forever? I don't want to raise my kids here."

Scenario 2:

"Hi, , nice to meet you. Yes, I'm looking for a boyfriend, but I'm hoping he'll be willing to move in the next 6 months to 1 year."

Scenario 3:

"Why, hello. Well, I might want to move. I don't know. I think I do. But I want it to be an option. What about you? Are you going to stay in the Bay Area?"

Considering that 6 of the 8 guys I talked to at 8 minute dating opened with, "Do you live in San Francisco?," I seriously doubt that I'll be able to find a man who wants to start a relationship with a girl who wants to get married and immediately move out of the area.

Of course, this could all just be part of my active efforts to procrastinate and not write my final papers.

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