Dear Non-Existent Sabbatical Committee,
I know that you don't usually give sabbaticals to librarians who have worked in the field for less than two years, because, really, shouldn't two years still feel like a vacation? Shouldn't I still be reveling in the fact that I'm all done with the stress-mess that was grad school? Sadly, though, I am not.
So, great, wise, Sabbatical-Granting Committee, though I am hardly a seasoned veteran, I would request that you provide me with an extended sabbatical for the following reasons:
1) It would allow me to fully recover the patient smile and friendly demeanor I had two years ago.
2) It would provide me with a break from the crazy customers who insist on yelling, yes, yelling, across the library when they have a question of some kind.
3) It would relieve me from the impossible to tolerate meetings in which I am told for the nineteenth time how to do something that I already do right.
Perhaps these reasons seem like excuses. Perhaps these reasons won't convince you to pay for me to not work in your facility, but oh, great Sabbatical-Granting-Committee, I believe that you know the truth. I believe that you know that this job is, to quote someone near and dear to me, "ruining me." You must know that I can still be saved from bitterness!
A return date? Oh.
I'll have to get back to you.