I Don't Like You. Don't Talk to Me.

I am not always the nicest person at work, and it's not the fault of the customers. Not really. Sometimes it is.

It's their fault when they've been borderline harassing me for two years and then decide to tell my supervisor that I've been "rude," when all I've been doing is resisting their creepy advances.

Tuesday was not a particularly splendid day for me. It was the first day of a week that won't end until this coming Tuesday; my ankle (sprained during our fabulous Memorial Day Camping Trip and re-sprained as Irene and I walked into what turned out to be the most-depressing movie since Schindler's List) hurt so badly that I felt sick to my stomach; the library had just opened.

The first few customers were courteous, and I happily answered their questions. I even ran out to re-align the front doors.

Then the creep entered. I won't go into all the details, but suffice it to say, he's overly familiar with a few of the younger women on staff, and we all act a bit differently. There are older men who flirt in that almost Southern way, calling all women "baby" and somehow managing not to offend anyone. This is not one of those men.

Anyway, I never want to talk to this man, and I always treat him the same, with a somewhat cold but polite demeanor. I don't encourage his conversation, but I smile and nod when he says hello.

That's not enough for him. He spoke with my supervisor for upwards of 20 minutes about my "rude" behavior.

The next morning, my two supervisors pulled me into an office and briefed me on some "techniques" I might try to make sure that he's "satisfied" with the level of attention he receives but won't perceive it as responding positively to his quest for closer communication.

These techniques:
1) Make eye contact, smile, but not too broadly, then look away.
2) When asked questions about my personal life, say "I don't talk about my personal life at work" and then giggle.

You think I'm kidding about the second one? No. They both demonstrated how I should say it.

It didn't help my situation that both of my supervisors - attractive in their own ways but not in the group that this man prefers to approach - said that they had dealt with this man before and "all of the encounters have been positive."

Let's repeat those techniques, just for good measure:
1) Make eye contact, smile, but not too broadly, then look away.
2) When asked questions about my personal life, say "I don't talk about my personal life at work" and then giggle.

I am now required by my employer to giggle at smarmy men.

I have a master's degree, and I am now required by my employer to giggle at smarmy men.