Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Having Faith

My mom has a friend.

This friend believes that her children can do no wrong and that she has free reign to judge all other children and their respective parents.

Her children do wrong, as children do, but she's blind to it.

My mom and another friend have had to repeatedly defend my changing belief system, my changing church attendance.

This last week was the final straw. Right after asking what church I've been attending with WG, saying that she knows the pastor and thinks it's a fine church, she looked at my mother and said, "Aren't you worried about her soul?"

This has been nagging at me for the last week. I've talked to different people about it, and it still bothers me. My mom feels bad that she ever told me, but I think I needed to hear it. I think that, for one of the first times in my life, I am finding myself having to defend my religious choices. I was Catholic at a Catholic school from first through twelfth grade, so I never really had to stand up for myself.

It's true, my mom's friend, I am going to a non-Catholic church.

It's also true that I still pray the rosary.

It will remain true that I miss getting communion at mass.

It has never stopped being true that I believe in the Immaculate Conception, even if I can't explain it.

But what you need to understand, not that it's any of your business, is that I also now, for the first time in about ten years, leave church each week without being angry. I don't complain about the sermon or getting yelled at for several hours after church.

Again, not that it's any of your business, but I am also dating, for the first time in my (albeit limited) dating history, a man of faith. I'm not the one leading the faith train, and that's a relief.

Also, your children are often rude and hostile individuals, and I would suggest you concentrate on their souls rather than worrying about the soul of a girl who prays, goes to church, is not an alcoholic and hasn't recently taken up smoking to deal with the stresses of life.

And leave my poor mother out of this. If you have something to say about my life, say it to me, not to my mother, who worries enough as it is.


brandy said...

You know... I struggle to find the words to say what I want right now without starting to rant. I've experienced someone similar to your moms friend in my life. In fact, her and her husband are good friends with my mom. They (her husband and herself) are quite religious and never stop shaking their heads and asking my mom how on earth she can 'deal' with my brother and I. And what frustrates me with this, is that my brother and I are both 'normal'. We aren't snorting cocaine and burning houses down. I date, I drink, I say a swear if I cut myself. I'm not perfect but the constant insinuation that her and her husband (and their children) ARE perfect is what gets under my skin. And the kicker? Two out of her three kids have serious drug issues.


Mrs. said...

It does seem that those most ensconced in the forest cannot see the trees. I have to say, in this forum, I am infinitely proud of my daughter and so tremendously enjoy the marvelous woman that she has become.

Bre said...

I must say that that's the kind of parent that makes my job miserable. The kind who demands that the WORLD is wrong, not her children and the kind who can only see herself and her life as "right"

Ugh. I'm sorry your mother had to hear that and that you have to deal with it!

Sith Esq. said...

Wow... all I can say is "wow". Luke 6:42. And even after reading that verse in no way Sarah in this scenario do you even have a speck in your eye.

Sarah you have got to introduce me to this person one day. On second thought, maybe you shouldn't I'll scar her for life.

Mrs. said...

As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I am not so poor - I can stand-up for myself..and you too!!