Saturday, August 11, 2007

Fix You!

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you Coldplay says it best. But the fact of the matter is, we can't "fix" the ones we love. I can't call up God or my friend's doctor or my mom's doctor or the ridiculous people where my dad works and make them STOP doing things that hurt these wonderful people.

I can't solve the problem with less caffeine or more sleep. Even shopping won't fix what doctors haven't yet diagnosed. Time spent together is wonderful, and it's what I can do. But no matter how much time I give, it won't be the right antibiotic or the best radiologist money can buy to get that scan just right.

I want to step in and just make everybody better. I want to buy origami paper when the man I love buys a book about origami paper folding. I want to bring home a book about menopause when my mom gets hot flashes. I want to send links to credit report sites when my best friend is looking for a new apartment. I want to help, help, help, help.

And oftentimes, my need to help isn't entirely selfless. I can't say that I do these things entirely for myself, but I also can't say that I don't appreciate the positive reactions I receive. Being told I'm loving and caring does wonders for my soul.

But I can't fix everything. I can just be here. I can give what I can, but I can't save the world, try though I might.


Bre said...

It's really hard to come to that conclusion, but once you can fully understand and accept that, things will get much better!

Mrs. said...

...and loving and caring, indeed, you are, my child...