I'm better at it than I was nine months ago. I'm better at it than I was six, four, two months ago.
It's called paying attention to my relationship and not simply referring to my friends, my family or the wealth of relationship advice that is dangerously available to me on the Internet.
I knew a few months ago that looking in iVillage for relationship advice would only get me into trouble. So, I stopped looking.
But, last week, when I was feeling ignored by WG after his return from the OKay Corral, I turned to friends and my mom, and I got just what I didn't need: the wholehearted belief that I was entirely right, and that there was something that needed to be done about the problem.
So, I went in, barrels blasting, to his place last Wednesday.
"So, I'm feeling a bit taken for granted. Blah blah, Sarah going on about things."
"Well, hello to you, too."
And so we went from there. Now we did have a good discussion, and I held my ground when he said, "If you've been mad for two days, why am I just finding out about it now?"
"Because I thought you would fix it, and I wouldn't need to be mad anymore." And no, this wasn't a case of mind reading; this was a simple case of needing him to get back on track and remember to call me every once in a while.
He claimed this was the same argument we have every few months. I claimed that's because he hasn't fixed the problem. He claimed I shouldn't take it personally, that he's bad at communicating with everyone. I said that I don't want to be lumped in with everyone else and that he needs to remember me every once in a while.
We settled on the fact that I just missed him tremendously, and went on our little field trip to St. Helena.
I needed to say those things, and, this week, things seem better than ever, but I am glad that I took things down a few notches from what I'd felt when I talked with others. When I saw him, I knew that he hadn't really done anything on purpose and that, when left to my own devices, I tend to overinflate the issue.
My friends help me through difficult situations, but sometimes, between their understanding (they are also women, keep in mind) and relationship articles that I can all to easily find on yahoo (they're usually conveniently located on the front news page), my emotions can become disproportionate to the problem.
Again, I am reminded that he is in the relationship, too.