Monday, July 30, 2007

Ratatouille and Then Some

So, WG and I saw that funny little Ratatouille cartoon on Sunday, and when we got out of the movie, I decided to make the titular dish because, well, because I actually know how.

I had already been a bit snappy with WG on the way into church, and then I told him afterwards that it felt like something was trying to keep us from church. He hadn't really wanted to get ready, and then after I snapped at him, my immediate reaction was the desire to just jump in the car and go home. But we stayed.

Anyway, back to snappy, cranky me. There was no real reason for my mood. Maybe it was wedding madness (a disappointment in the festivities, a sadness that the couple didn't get anything they wanted out of the wedding, the knowledge that WG and are AGES away from any such occassion to celebrate our relationship), or a general crankiness lingering from the dumbest argument on earth (about Facebook...too stupid to even recount here), but I was in a mood.

I let WG cut up some of the veggies (in the interest of making this a joint effort), and he was so...careful with me.

"What size do you want me to cut these?"

"Is this the right size?"

"What knife should I use on the tomatoes?"

Uh...these are not the words that normally come out of his mouth. And it irked me that he was tiptoeing around my mood.

With the ratatouille safely in the oven, I went to take a nap, and it made all the difference in the world. I woke up without crankiness that had been lingering in my body all day, and I told him so.

But it wasn't until after he left that I thought about his cautious behavior in light of another conversation we had this weekend. We talked about how it seems that I've answered a lot of, shall we say, questions since being with him. In some ways, it seems like I've changed. Viewed from another light, it's just that I had no reason to answer the questions before getting into a relationship.

And I thought more about the changes we make for our significant others, whether they ask us to or not.

I told him that I wasn't going to be doing a lot of research for our trip to DC this coming weekend, because I didn't want to stress him out with my stressing out, "But you can do that if you want..." He seemed sad that I had actually made the decision to not overwork.

And then, it hit me. WG actually likes all of those little quirks about me. When he comments on my nervous energy, it's not so that I'll change it. I think he takes pleasure in telling people about his "quirky" girlfriend, and if I stop being quirky, well, then that would make me awfully boring, wouldn't it?

And I don't like him being so careful around me. Though his bossiness can sometimes rub me the wrong way, it's still an intrinsic part of his...WG-ness, and I don't want him to change that.

Maybe I have been altering my behavior a bit too much. I mean, I can calm down about some things (because honestly, I'd rather not get pre-mature wrinkles), but I don't have to completely slow down and turn into an empty shell.


brandy said...

What a thoughtful post. It always shocks me when the behaviors that I dislike the most about myself (the bossiness! the fact i can't sleep on a bed that doesn't have the sheet tucked in!) are some of the things other people love the most. Hope you have a good trip!

Bre said...

This is such a sweet delightful post! So cute!

Thomas said...

Do you ever feel like you are coming in in the middle of the conversation and thus struggle to keep up? Story of my life.