What Happened in Vegas

Vegas was a whirlwind.

We arrived after midnight on Friday, got to the meeting place for the wedding at eleven in the morning on Saturday and caught a flight out on Sunday evening.

The wedding took only 13 minutes. The bride and groom both cried. Wine Guy had his arm around me.

Everyone kept saying that this wedding, this really simple wedding in Vegas with less than 20 people in attendance, was "just what they wanted." I, of course, just kept thinking, "13 minutes? Ohh, hahaaahaa, 13 minutes? Yeah, Catholic wedding for me! Try 2 hours!!"

But the couple did look happy. They just bought a house, so there lives are really getting off the ground.

That might have freaked out Wine Guy.

I was talking to his step-mom and step-sister (AKA the bride), and she told me, "It's okay, I'm an 'older woman,' too. My husband is 26, and I'm 28." That's the same difference as between Wine Guy and me, and I could see him sort of shifting in his seat, feeling mildly uncomfortable, hoping I don't have those exact expectations...but I kind of do. Twenty-eight is a good age to get married.

At one point, late in the evening, after everyone had changed out of their finery and Oklahoma and Cal had both won their games (Go Sooners! Go Bears!), Wine Guy's step-mom pulled me aside to find out more about me. Mostly, the conversation consisted of her telling me what a nice, nice guy Wine Guy is and that "if he's anything like his father, he's a good man."

And did I forget to mention the rodeo was in town?

Yes, apparently the entire states of Texas and Oklahoma emptied out over the weekend, and all of the residents were in Las Vegas. I have never seen so many cowboy hats and tight jeans in my entire life. And that was just the men.

Anyway, the weekend was surreal. I met my boyfriend's family at a 13 minute Las Vegas wedding, was 1300 feet up in the air on top of the Stratosphere at 1 o'clock in the morning and really did run into a few walls.

Top quotes heard over the weekend:

Gondolier overheard at the Venetian, "I'm European, so I don't mind..."

A woman who refused to honor her husband's request to bang on the giant ornaments at Bellagio, "This is NOT a musical."

Random Michigan woman who attended the wedding and sat next to me at dinner, "I never knew there was that much variety in shape, size, color and girth. I'm talking about buttplugs. Oh, I'm sorry. You look shocked. I forgot. You're just a librarian."

Two-tone (her hair is naturally half blond-half brunette), the step-cousin with stories, "I get touchy when I drink wine. But not touchy with girls. Touchy with guys. I call up old boyfriends."

Wine Guy's sister, "Hey, hey. I like wine now. I didn't before, but I drank enough of it that it's okay now. So, buy me some nice wine, okay?"

and later, "I like boxed wine."

Wine Guy, "Let's time the wedding!"