Tuesday, October 17, 2006

On Anger and Other Things

At last night's Bible study, we ended up reminiscing about the not-so-good times in the sorority. It started out as a bit of a gossip session and ended up with rehashing the things that had bothered us during the time we were there...not the little, annoying things, but the BIG issues and arguments.

I realized that many of my angry moments ended with, "And then I swore her up and down." Yeah, and I don't swear on a regular basis, so when I get going, look out!

Not for the first time, I thought about how angry I used to get over seemingly little things. I think that a lot of my life was spinning out of my control, so when little things that I thought I could control went wrong, all of my anger got directed towards those little things. Rather than beating myself up over those tantrums (and they really were immature, childish tantrums), I just felt this great sense of relief at not having to feel like that anymore. In the years since college, I haven't been overcome by that rage. My people skills have improved dramatically, haha. It's hugely exhausting to get so angry, and even this morning, thinking back over last night, I feel this surge of energy just because I don't feel angry anymore.

In other news, I dreamt last night that my blog was featured in the "Blogs of Note," that I suddenly had 1,000 hits a day and that the comments feature was getting used with more frequency. Of course, I also dreamt that vampires came to my house and would kill me unless I told them the location of some signed baseball that my dad had hidden in my bedroom somewhere...so, you can't put a whole lot of stock in dreams, yah?

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