Friday, March 10, 2006

I guess it boils down to this:

I don't want to date a complete stranger.

I've done that, and it's scary! I know that there is a "getting to know you" process in any relationship, whether you know a friend in common or not, but the thought of just dating someone who nobody I know knows first is absolutely terrifying. I've done it, but it's freakin' weird and hard and scary, and I don't want to do it again. I won't say that I refuse to do it again, but I don't like the thought of it.

So, do I want to date a friend of a friend?

Well...I've done that. It doesn't end well when I date a close friend of a friend, but maybe a "Hey, my friend "Insert Guy Name Here" from work is single...I'll invite him to a party and introduce you to him" would work better than the never-good-in-the-long-run (at least not for me) situation of dating someone's best guy friend...

I could have patience and develop my own friendships with guys that may or may not eventually turn into a romantic relationship, but it's hard to build a friendship out of nothing. "Oh, hi, I see you're reading a book I've read before, Mr. Cute Guy in Barnes and Noble, let's be friends!"

So, yes, for the five millionth time, I realize that getting into a relationship is HARD. Does that mean it's not worth it? Honestly, I don't know. Everytime I talk about wanting to be in a relationship, people who are in them, seem to warn me away. They say things like, "You're young," or "Don't worry about getting a boyfriend." So, why aren't I supposed to worry? Is there something y'all aren't telling me?

What's the conclusion to all of this? I'm trying to be patient and trying to live my life in the mean time, but in order to have a proper family in the way I plan to, I need to have a boyfriend who eventually becomes my husband.

So, on a daily basis, I don't *miss* having someone beside me, but when I stop to think about the big picture, I realize that a boyfriend is sort of a necessity.

What's the solution, then? Well, as I see it, there are several:
* My friends could be on the look out for guys for me and set me up with them, or at least arrange a meeting at a dinner party or something.
* After graduation, I can join some groups...I don't know...a hiking club? find a photography lab and meet some artsy fellas? just develop a larger circle of guy friends?
* Or...change my standards. I think that my standards, at least as far as appearance goes, are really high. That's not necessarily a problem. Now, that doesn't mean I usually date totally smokin' guys. What that means is that I don't really date that much. Are my standards too high?

Alright, so no real solutions to this problem seem to exist at the moment, but if you've got some ideas, let me know, okay? Though I can't promise to name my first born child after you if you help me find love, I can promise that I would make you a delicious batch of chocolate chip cookies :).

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