Sunday, June 12, 2005

Seeing as how I am in the middle of watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, I shall tell my story in the appropriate manner.

Irene and Sarah Go to San Francisco

On the way to Alameda to pick up Ms. Irene, I was delayed by a CHP officer swerving across the road. He rapidly drove across all lanes of traffic in a zig zag pattern. Eventually, after traffic had sufficiently slowed, Mr. CHP parked his car, and got out, hand in the air, halting traffic. He proceeded to the slow lane, put on what appeared to be a latex glove, picked up a piece of drywall from the road, and threw it off the freeway. He then got back into his car and sped away.

I eventually arrived in Alameda, picked up Irene, and headed off to the city. Heading into Oakland, we realized that we had forgotten to go eat lunch at Sushi House (clearly I had not recovered from Mr. Zig Zag CHP). So, I said, "Well, do you want to go back, or do you want to eat in the city?"

Irene says, "Do you know anywhere in the city?"

I said, "Do you know how to get to Japan Town?" I decided that we should both know our way around the city, having gone there so much since infancy. I decided that the geography of the city should "be in our blood."

It's a big city, and we wanted Sushi, so we decided on Japan Town. Irene knew the muni route to Japan Town (great use of those observational skills learned at Cal!), and we made it to our destination. It was cold, and my sweater was in the car, but, all was well, because Irene had an extra shirt in her purse. Thanks for sharing!

We decided against the strange, left-out all day sushi at the all you can eat place, avoided any place with a plastic food display in the window, and finally settled down for some soba and udon. Mmmm. Then, we went shopping! The little Japanese market is sooooo cool. Irene and I both bought little porcelin tea servers for $2, I got an eyelash curler for $1 (later saw the same exact one for almost $10 at another store), and we both left happy.

We proceeded to head in what we thought was the general direction of the Presidio, took a left at a fork in the road and started seeing the avenues. Irene checked the yahoo maps directions, and guess what, SF is in our blood! We were heading to the Legion of Honor without even knowing what heck we were doing...awesome!

Sooooo, we get to the Legion of Honor, go to the bathroom (thank you Green Tea) and who do we see? Hayley! Hayley was in the bathroom at the Legion of Honor! How random! She was in town showing her parents the wedding site and celebrating Ryan's graduation (what a fast year). We wandered around the Anti-Fashion exhibit with her - seriously, who decides that it's a good idea to stick pins out from the inside of a dress and call it art, and the birth control dress was quite ironic, yah?

After getting our fill of art for the day, and saying bye to Hayley, we drove around Sea Cliff to drool over the houses (I WILL live there one day, and you can come over and make fun of my snobby neighbors as we sip tea from my little $2 teapot on the deck overlooking the Pacific ocean, with my little blue Civic proudly parked in the driveway - and the Volvo XC90 in the garage :Þ).

Full of hope for the future (okay, full of longing for gorgeous houses and the lives that go with them), we headed to North Beach...well, we more or less found our way there, drove around for an hour and found parking. It might not have been an hour, but we did find a perfect little Tinka sized parking lot, that Irene oh so patiently helped me park in.

We decided against the "bougie Buena Sera" restauarants with no prices on the menu and headed into the famous Steps of Rome Cafe. Okay, if up until this point, our luck had been great, and we had cars waving me through when it wasn't my turn, people politely informing us that if we wanted to visit the museum (we had just left), it was closed, and otherwise being just plain nice, it takes a weird turn here. Steps of Rome and our primavera, was our White Castle.

We were led (by a cute Italian playboy with his hand on my back) to a corner table by the window. And we were left there, until the not-so-cute Italian gayboy with a a piercing in the space between his nose and his lip, reluctantly came to take our order. I ordered the appetizer and the Primavera and asked for some bread. WE WERE STARVING!

We sat. Eventually someone brought bread. We watched the people outside get their dinner. Our appetizer came (it was yummy but didn't last long). Our water glasses got low. The bachelorette party with their penis pacifiers and loud shouts of glee everytime one of the waiters kissed the bride-to-be at the table next to us got wine and salad and bread and water. We waited. Finally, Mr. Piercing asked if we wanted anything else. I said that we were waiting for our pasta. He said, "Oh" and left. We waited. We talked. We examined our relationships (or, in my case, my lack of one). We talked some more. The guys outside left, and an affectionate couple sat down. We commented that two hot guys walking by hand in hand were a "straight-up-waste," (ladies, you know what I mean). We waited. I finally went to tell Mr. Hand On My Back that we had ordered over an hour ago and never gotten our pasta. He came over and touched our shoulders and asked us for more information. Mr. Pierce came and touched our shoulders and said that we hadn't ordered pasta. Mr. Mexican Bus Boy came and asked us if we were done, so we told him about the pasta. Then, Mr. Hand On My Back came over and said he was taking care of it. Mr. Bus Boy, in between running around and bussing tables mouthed, "It's coming!"

And at long last.

We got our steaming hot plate of Primavera, and you know what, it was worth the wait!

Then we waited for the check.

One of the party girls at the table next to us said, "You could just walk out without the check, and they'd never notice."

Still, we waited.

And the check arrived.

And we paid our $25 for 2 hours in a kitchy, fun, famous restaurant and figured that the money they lost on the people who didn't sit at our table was enough retribution. Mr. Pierce touched my shoulder on the way out and apologized.

Then, we went to Stella, and despite the mile long line, we found a table, just waiting for us, and we had some yummy dessert.

After satisfying our sweet teeth (that sounds funny), we went back to the car and magically found our way back out of the city.

So, Irene and Sarah went to San Francisco and had a lovely time. We saw art, we shopped, we took pictures of gorgeous scenery, we were touched by cute, non-smarmy (but still totally player) Italian guys, we ate yummy food, Hayley had a cameo appearance, and we made it home in one piece.

No, Neil Patrick Harris didn't steal my car, and we didn't ride a cheetah, but we did have fun :).

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