I'm slowly but surely learning that while I might have to change some things (like my inexplicable need to be in charge of the remote control at all times during a tv or movie watching session) in order to have a successful romantic relationship, other aspects of my personality are just part of me. There's no reason to change things that fundamentally make me who I am.
To talk a bit about my e-harmony experience - I've had some matches and am in "communication" with someone right now, but I what I really appreciate about this site is that I can put up a profile of what I will "accept" as a match without the other person ever seeing it.
I don't have to write in my profile that I am looking for a guy who is a Roman Catholic college graduate non-smoker in my age range. The site takes care of that for me. Also, unless we are matched, no one can see my profile or pictures. I appreciate that there is no random browsing by forty year olds. Yech!
I've even done my research and read some advice books on online dating. Yes, I've done this sort of thing before but never with any real preparation and always with a bit of embarassment. This is nothing to be ashamed of - in fact, it's actually a lot easier than flirting with someone at a party or in a store or a class - at least with e-harmony, I know that the guys I talk to are actually looking for someone. It saves a lot of trouble.
One communication ended after the answer to my "Are you pro-life or pro-choice?" question was the wrong one for me. It's wonderful not to get involved with someone only to find out that our values conflict in every way possible. No one got hurt, and I didn't expend much energy getting interested in the guy.
What else have I learned about myself? Well, I've learned that a little research goes a long way.
I'll start school in January - 9 graduate units and 40 hours a week of work. It's going to be rather difficult, at least for this first semester. My research, though, has taught me that I can do some of the work ahead of time as the professors are supposed to post their websites up a few weeks before classes actually start. I've also learned that should I ever need to quit my job, my $10 a semester paid for the Student Health Plan covers me at other campuses as well. If worse came to worse, at least I would still have medical coverage.
Yes, I am now a woman who does her research. Let us all now breathe a sigh of relief that there will not be another "Boston."
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