My goodness. I'm really rotten at this writing thing! This time, though, it's not because I'm depressed (at least there's that). I'm in Los Angeles now, and I love it. I would stay here if I could, and if my family was closer. That whole being close to my family thing certainly throws a wrench in where I can live my life, haha. Oh well. Perhaps I'll marry an actor/producer/otherwise wealthy man, move to Beverly Hills and provide housing of some kind to relatives and friends for most of the year. Or, worse comes to worse, I'll get a million dollar-a-year job. You know, as a back up.
It's a strange notion, this being happy. I'm still not where I'd like to be (life-wise), but I think that I'm as happy "as can be expected" when I'm still missing a big chunk of what I want out of life. I've never been patient (of all the insulting descriptions thrown at me by angry relatives, impatient is the only one that I believe is true of me), and I don't like waiting for what I want. So, I'm dealing.
Last night, though, something happened. It was another lesson in why I need to hang around people I know and trust. The program (Emerson's L.A. Program) went out for a night of fun at Jillian's (a club/arcade at Universal City Walk). My roommates and a couple of other people all had at least one drink before going and planned to drink at the event. I don't drink at all. I also had been designated driver the night before and really didn't want to do it again. Besides, two of the roommates work at Universal and had free parking passes; so they wanted to drive. I said that, in that case, I wouldn't go. I was not comfortable getting in the car with any driver who had been drinking. I don't care if it's one, weak drink. I don't care if you're going to have only one beer. The definition of a designated driver is someone who does NOT drink that evening. That's what it means (or at least that's what semesterly alcohol modules at AOII taught me). I in no way regret my decision to stay in, but I do think that it might have harmed the young relationship with my roommates. I think that they think I'm immature or stupid for thinking that one drink impairs judgement. I really can't stand being thought of as immature. I have values, and I stand by them. I think that's a sign of maturity, or at least a strength.
I need to find some people who do not require alcohol to have a good time. Because, trust me, it's just not fun going out and watching everybody else get drunk.
Other than that, life is good. I went to a premiere & met some celebs. I like life in L.A. and in Beverly Hills - it's sooooo much better than Boston that I can hardly explain it, but, then, I am a California girl.
One more thing. I just finished reading a book called Good in Bed. It's a great book, but the main character's relationship with her daughter, Joy, is what really got to me. Reading it helped me understand even more what my own mother went through and how she loves me. Of course, it also made my womb give a little kick, signalling my desire for a child. I'm a strange girl...the girl who wants a traditional lifestyle, but, apparently, I'm too late for that. Feminism and the non-abstinence movement destroyed my chances (haha).
Oh well! Guess I'm just too conservative for the new millenium.
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