Warning: This post will make me seem incredibly shallow and, quite possibly, ridiculously immature (not that the others don't also have that potential).
This weekend, after seven, no eight months of being with WG, I finally got that he's in the relationship, too. It's not all about my wants and needs. It's not all about whether he can make me happy, whether he can handle my needs. It's about whether or not he's happy, too. Apparently, there are two people in this relationship, not just full-scale person me and an empty-shell with a great smile known as Wine Guy. What a concept.
For one of the first times, I really asked him questions about his past. I've meant to, and I swear I actually did way back in those hazy, blurry, exhausted first weeks of our relationship, but I'm actually paying attention now.
See, all those months ago, I was on patrol for warning signs, the dangerous flags that might alert me to major flaws that I just could not handle. I was watching him closely to make sure that I could handle his baggage, but once it passed through my security measures, I never looked at what was inside. I wasn't really paying attention to him. Oh, no, of course not. Don't be silly.
After two long car rides in a Mitsubishi Eclipse and several hours of deep conversation in a smaller-than-hoped-for hotel room (with what sounded like no-pane glass) at the beach, I'm getting a better sense of who WG is, how he came to be, what he cares about, and what he wants for his life. Before, I could have answered all of those questions for you, because I knew the facts, but I didn't really understand them.
Now, I'm stoked about asking him more questions and having the chance to understand the man I love.
This is so cool! There's like, a whole other person in this relationship. Wow! Who'd a thunk it?