nor is it a novel
or a movie
or a play
or even a sitcom.
This is my life.
Maybe it's because I have a writer somewhere inside me (not like a scary little elf, but you know, a part of my personality that would greatly like to sit down and churn out a fabulous novel), or maybe it's because I read so freakin' much (it's not that I watch too many Romantic Comedies, no, that's not it at all), but I tend to think of myself as a "character."
And I bristle at the fact that I am a terribly difficult character to write.
I'm not "the homecoming queen" or "the quirky and fabulous woman who saves the world and those around her with some weird little idea, all while wearing a scarf and carrying a funky purse." Nor am I the romantic lead. Or the goofy girl who simply accepts her goofy ways and loves herself no matter what. I'm no one thing, and really, who is? I'm just ME. But for some reason, I tend to have a hard time accepting that.
I want to be the glamorous, chic, pulled together woman who can have a dinner party without getting spaghetti sauce all over her white stove. I want to be the calm, cool, collected and fabulously beautiful woman who makes men drool at her feet.
But I'm not.
I'm all of the things that come out as I write. I'm something no words can describe. I'm Sarah.
And I need to stop narrating my life in my head, as though I were the omniscient narrative voice in one of those Brit Lit novels I read.
And I need to stop trying to write myself a new role.