As of today, Wine Guy and I have been together for three months. That's a long time for me!
In that short time period, we've been through a lot. In the past two weeks, we've had two pretty serious "discussions" (some might call them arguments) and survived them. In the most recent, he actually thought about what I was saying and then said, "I'm sorry." Plain and simple. "I'm sorry."
A quick rundown on what I have learned so far:
* That maintaining my sanity, my identity and my personal life while in a new relationship is HARD
* That my family and friends have a limited amount of patience, and it was vital that I get back to paying attention to them, as well as to the other pieces of my life
* That telling him how I feel is much, much better than "stewing" and watching it all seep out eventually
* That I actually like Star Wars
* That wine makes a nice compliment to a meal
* That it is entirely possible to love someone, not tell him, and not feel angry that he hasn't said it to me yet
* That the oddest things bring me comfort:
In Z Gallerie last night, we found Table Top Conversation Starters.
Before purchasing the game, Wine Guy looked at the sample cards. The first question asked whether, if you reached an advanced age, you would rather have a fit body or a fit mind.
I said fit mind. He said fit body.
We talked a little bit about that. I realized that I would really rather have what my French great-grandmother had and be 93, sharp as a tack and still putting on makeup, pearls and dress shoes to go to the bakery each morning.
Still, he said, "Well, then you can do your crossword puzzles, or whatever, and I'll be perfectly content, running around."
"Thinking you're seven?"
"Or even younger. I'll be happy. I won't have to deal with it. You will."
And, the weight in my chest, the fear that he was going to abandon me because of my craziness, just vanished.
Now, I have a vision of us in our 80's, and I realize that he does think we'll be together in the long-run, even if he hasn't said those three little words.
See, the oddest moments can bring me comfort.
And today, three months into this relationship, I am one happy little kitten.