Tuesday, July 11, 2006

After Lunch

NLC called at ten in the morning to tell me that he had arrived at my office building but that he didn't know where my office actually was.

At ten in the morning, I told him that I would come downstairs in a couple of minutes and return the book to him.

At ten in the morning, I sighed at the fact that ten in the morning is not right before lunch.

Over the weekend, I neither thought about nor talked about NLC. And it's not just because I didn't talk about guys with my grandma. I did. I mentioned one or two that I dated, or at least I told her why I broke up with one or two guys I dated. I made no mention of NLC.

On Monday morning, I realized that I no longer wanted to chew out NLC. I didn't care enough to do that. I did care enough about my reputation and my working relationship with both of his parents to not come across like a crazy person (that person is saved for those who really know me).

I still thought about what I might say when I saw him, but then he called me much earlier than expected, and as I headed out to meet him, I decided that I wouldn't say anything about my feelings.

So, I walked downstairs, gave him his book and chit-chatted a little bit. He smiled and talked about things that didn't interest me and about the weather. I smiled and told him I'd gone to Arizona over the weekend, talk about weather! He said, "Oh, yeah, that's right! You were going to Arizona!"

In my head, I said to him, "Don't do that. That's not fair. You don't get to remember things about me or even pretend to remember things about me. That just confuses me."

Outloud, I said, "Yep, it was a really nice trip."

As I turned to go back inside my building, he said, "Thanks for the book. I would totally have forgotten about it, and I really like this book."

In my head, "Must you follow up a remembrance with a forgotten tidbit? I just don't get you."

Outloud, "Yeah, of course, no problem. Thanks for lending it to me."

Then, a mutual series of "see you around" and "take care," and he was out of my life, and that's okay.

I've been "getting over" him since the barbecue and my subsequent belief that he wouldn't call me, so this seemingly sudden and peaceful ending has actually been in the works for about a month.

I was okay before him, crazy during this weird little interlude in my summer, and am okay again after him. He wasn't the guy for me. He was Chad Sterling combined wtih a guy I hung out with but didn't date in college, someone who always seemed interested but never remembered our conversations from day to day, or now, from year to year.

And I'm really glad I didn't go all crazy on NLC. How's that for maturity?

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