Wednesday, October 26, 2005

It's amazing to discover how much of myself I had really started to lose. It wasn't just the relationship. It was the relationship AND school AND work AND all of the little details that aren't exactly part of the relationship but that go into it (talking about the relationship, thinking about the relationship, gah!).

I'm thrilled to be getting back to me and starting again to do the things that I love, instead of having to keep wracking my brain for something that will entertain someone else. I'm making a sincere effort to return to my creative side. I don't think I can muster up the energy to write a short story, but I will start taking pictures again (I have already). If I want to claim that I'm a "photographer," than I suppose I ought to get started with taking pictures again (please don't use the picture from the concert as any sort of a measure for my photo taking abilities). Not to worry, portraits aren't my speciality, so I don't think I'll start annoying anyone by having my camera in your face all the time.

That said, I did like being in a relationship, and I would like to have one again. On the other hand, I have really learned the meaning of the words, "You can't hurry love." I can't force myself or anyone else to feel something that just isn't there. It's also not worth it to give up on so many of my values in order to have this "thing," this relationship that I seem to crave.

Okay, no more boy/relationship posts for a while...I think we could all use a break from that!

Onto more exciting things.

Although the concert was a couple of weeks ago, I have to comment on the Black Eyed Peas/Gwen Stefani show.
1) The Peas were awesome (although their ghetto booty song is really disturbing) and high energy.
2) Gwen Stefani needs a band. She needs the rest of No Doubt. She has quite the array of costumes and really great hair, but she's just not the same without the naked drummer :).
3) "Three White Guys" Bar (I refuse to use the Spanish translation) made for a fab pre-concert dinner, mostly because 5 people ate for $ can't match that inside HP Pavilion, that's for sure!
4) It was so wonderful to see Hayley and Marie at the same time - wow, two, count them, two friends at once! Plus, lately it's so rare to see Marie, it's just great to see her at all!

In other news, I'm really digging the Bible study with H & B. It's just what I needed in so many different ways, and I thank them both for letting me join in so far into their studying!

Oh, and it's always worth it to not get home until 12 midnight, just so I can stay up and watch the ever-sexy Richard Gere become a changed man in the arms of Debra Winger (who, like Gwen Stefani, also has great hair...hmmm...I sense a haircut coming up), especially when watching the movie with people who truly appreciate it! "Way to go, Paula! Way to go!"

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