Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Really, I need someone to explain this to me. Why is that we are told as kids to think about what we want in life and go for it but then life plays this cruel, cruel joke where only some people get what they want?

After two disgusting and disturbing dates, I'm feeling a bit, uhm, cranky at the moment about the whole getting married and having kids thing. It's what I want the most in all the world, but even online, I'm not good enough for the guys I'd like to date, and the ones who are interested really do make me feel sick to my stomach.

Is this the lesson? Am I going to have to settle? I refuse to settle.

I'm not kidding about this, so read closely: If you have an idea about why I can't hold on to a guy for more than 3 dates, please, let me know. If you have an idea about why I attract only the fugly guys tell me (and be brutally honest - if you think I need a nose job or something, tell me. I'm not going to get a nose job, but I want to know).

I've often heard so-called "relationship experts" tell their clients, "The only thing the same in all of your failed relationship is you." Well, that means that I'm the only thing I can work on. I can't blame the guys, I have to fix ME.

So, tell me what you think.

Is there something unlovable about me? Am I too bossy? Do I need to be more feminine? I'm not saying that I CAN actually change any of these things, but I'd like to know what it is I need to work on.

If the thing I want the most in life I can't seem to get, there has to be something I can do to fix it. You all know me. You know that I'm determined and stubborn and hard headed. Now, help me figure out what I need to do in order to be a good/better girlfriend/future wife.

Thank you for your advice.

Seriously, be brutally honest.

p.s. maybe growing up around really independent women or maybe being a member of a sorority without a self-confidence problem has hurt me in someway. Do I think I'm much better than I really am? Am I always going to be the "dog" at the party? Or is this all because I don't put out? HELP ME!

1 comment:

Mr. Driller said...

By the sounds of you, you're completely self-involved and a bit of a psycho. Those aren't attractive qualities.

I haven't seen your picture, but geniunely pretty, nice girls NEVER have a problem meeting men. I work with an absolute stunner, but because she's also a nice person everyone's completely in love with her.

I conclude thusly: you need to be a lot less of a twat, and you need to accept you're not anything like as pretty as you think you are. Even if you only think it secretly, because you think being humble about it is an attractive quality.

Thanks for this little window into your tedious life, though.