There's something about rainy Fridays that make me contemplative (haha, since I usually spend so LITTLE time thinking about myself and my life!). Lately, it's felt like I'm living someone else's life...like I'm living in a bubble.
Some weird things that have happened lately:
*Mommy got braces (GO GO GO MOMMY GO GO GO MOMMY) - I'm thrilled about it, but what's weird is that it's the realization of a dream for her. It's been a long time since I saw anyone's dream come true (hmmm...was the most recent Daddy finally getting a German Shepherd - hi Bailey -...in 1996?)?
*I don't feel frantic about my life. I know that I just have to be patient - granted I still worry, but I sort of feel more settled, emotionally, even while being pulled in 100 different directions.
*Talking with my co-worker, Lesley, about spirituailty, motherhood, and life in general. Granted, some of it got a little intense, but I know that she's been put in my life for a reason, and I'm grateful.
*Driving back and forth to Berkeley while being mildly drowsy. Anything I do in the fog of sleepiness strikes me as surreal. I'm pretty sure there are angels guiding my car to work each day.
*Sean playing host
*Talking to Shawn after hearing nothing from her for over a year
*Sophie lives in Versailles, is studying to become a teacher and will be married in 2005 - such a far cry from the girl I knew just two years ago...it's amazing what happens when relatives start to grow up!
*Planning to go out clubbing w/Irene and her man. They'll snog, and I'll check out the guys - hopefully her recent luck in the, uh, fun department will rub off on me.
*Talking with Jessica about being her #1 Bridesmaid (her version of Maid of Honor) - she's not yet engaged to Patrick, but this was a lot more real than our wanderings through Macy's and Nordstrom's pondering what fantastic shoes we'll wear to the galas we'll attend with our wealthy husbands...it's more than fantasy.
*Genuinely and truly feeling ready to get married and have a child - more so than ever before, I'm realizing that Mr. Fantasy Man doesn't exist, but the man I dream about (yes, actual dreams) might be just around the corner. I have a strong feeling, like Mommy, that this is THE year. God Help Us all!
It's all just rather new for me...this sense that I don't have to feel panicked about my life - that I really should know:
Expect it!
Dream it!
Something good is finding its way to you
As it does to all
God's children.
(Jewel)
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