Pink Cereal and Raspberries

Fairly settled in Boston. I start my grad program this evening - what whirl-wind of events in the last six months, even though my life seemed to move along at a snail's pace. Now, I find myself debating whether or not to pursue print journalism since I have so many broadcast options before me...oh well, we'll see what happens.

A few days ago, I just couldn't handle my grandma anymore & I pretty much told her so. Now, I know that in "normal" families, people don't really argue with their elders...but then, again, in "normal" families, there aren't people like my grandmother. She's totally aware of everything that goes on, but she denies it all, unless it can affect her positively (unless she can tell her little church friends about how hard it is for her to have a daughter who is sick...or whatever). In any case, I just got a little tired of her crap - I didn't say it in those words, exactly. I actually was fairly eloquent - I spoke me piece, and she walked around with her fingers in her ears laughing. Psycho.

The next day, she had forgotten all about it. She lives in a nice little place called Denial.

She called me selfish & immature, said that she was disappointed in me. When I said that I shouldn't have spoken up (really, what I said was, I should know better - because it's true...I should know better than to try to have these discussions with her, because she never listens & she never changes), she gave me a lecture on how my little "fits" don't accomplish anything. I disagree. I felt better...I released the tension....and the next day, it hadn't affected her any - she just buried it along with all the stuff she can't face.

I know that I can be selfish and immature, but I also know that I am not these things in the way that she thinks I am.

She told me to stop complaining about things and to take action (she threw back these words, as I had just said them to her) - well, I did take action. I applied to a grad program & moved across the country - now if that's not taking action, I don't know what is!

So, now I am here. She has flown back to her nutty little world. My mom's still here (I don't even want to think about her leaving just yet...), and I start school this evening. I don't deny what happened with my grandma, but I can move beyond it and try to start my little life here...