Tired. I'm tired. Maybe I'm coming down with something. I went to Davis for job training - had to get up at 6:50 a.m.!! - then I conked out around 4:30...I should take a day off and recover - I mean, what if I have to start working next week?
I don't have a whole lot to say (amazingly enough). Lately, I feel like I've been wandering around in a haze, feeling like doing nothing more than reading and sleeping. I don't think it's depression. It's just the "blahs." Plus, it's hard for me to stay in contact with friends from school. I'm not used to having to make such a big effort to see people - I don't mind it, honestly, I love these people! But, it's hard on the body! I'm not used to all the driving, and, quite honestly, I'm not used to people actually WANTING to hang out with me. With my best friends from high school, I'm the one who initiates everything - organizing the get togethers, etc. These friends contact ME! It's really hard to say no. I can't help it - I'm still in a bit of shock that people actually want to be friends with me at all. I don't know what caused it exactly, but I've got a bad self image (not too good for the dating scene, where number one on most guys' lists is the phrase "she must have self-confidence") and can't seem to get rid of it. I'm not smart enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not living up to my potential as the "cream of the crop" (as high school teachers tended to call we honors kids). Anywho, that's my problem today...I'm just not good enough.
Maybe I'll feel better after some sleep.
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