This should have been one of the original commandments. I don't know how it got left out. Seriously.
I have a tendency to convince myself that I can learn how not to stress, but to me and others who share my genes, this just means a happy little trip down De Nial. Sure, I can do everything. No, really, leave it to me. I can do it.
But you know what? I do whatever it is, and I do it well.
Three days later, I crash.
I fall into a little puddle of Sarah-mess, and I realize that I'm exhausted and totally spent and have completely failed to give myself any time off...
And then I get mad at WG, because, really, what else is there to do about the situation?
There are times when he's contributed to the stress (because, ladies, let's be honest, there's not a man in the world who is NEVER at fault...), and there are others when he's simply THERE and gets the brunt of my stress melt down.
By Sunday, after taking the CSET on Saturday (a grueling five-hour test that involves things I will never have to know in order to teach kindergarten), working on Sunday afternoon and stressing the whole weekend over the location of our wedding rehearsal dinner, I was done for. I was melty and tired and fussy, and did I mention exhausted?
WG and I started talking about some little thing that was annoying me, and it turned into a slightly bigger thing...and I ended up complaining that I feel like I'm always the one who has STUFF to do, STUFF that means we don't get to spend as much time together as I'd like, STUFF that means I need a nap when I get home, thus cutting into what little time we have.
He looked at me and told me that he finds it sexy that I'm so busy, that I keep myself active and involved in the world.
And I admitted that I was tired and needed to just sit and not accomplish anything for a while.
Then he went and made me dinner and we watched 30 Rock.
Thou Shalt Not Stress...the 11th Commandment.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Full Circle
The day after we got engaged, WG and I met up with my aunt, uncle and two little cousins in Colorado. I had seen my uncle or aunt since they'd gotten married, and, in fact, due to a major family argument had missed the wedding entirely. I'd never met my little cousins due to the same argument (see numbers 35-37 in "100 Things").
In early January, we found out that my uncle was very sick, and all of the reasons for the argument came tumbling down. For the first time, my mom and I were able to separate the rift with her mom from the rift with her brother. We both contacted my uncle, and since I knew I was going to be in Denver, anyway, I asked if I could come visit.
So, on the day after he became one, I was able to introduce WG, as my fiancé. It was the first time I'd seen my uncle in six years, and he and my aunt got tears in their eyes when they saw me, and my aunt started to cry harder when she learned that WG and I were planning on getting married.
My uncle has always been one of the two most important men in my life. He was, in many ways, like a second father. He was always around, always babysitting me or sharing in the "who's going to pick up Sarah from school?" nonsense. I know he took it seriously when he met the man I'm going to marry.
The initial visit went well, and in many ways, it was like no time had passed, and it felt so good to get a hug from my uncle again.
I played with the older of my two cousins, read her a book, helped comb out the hair on her my little ponies. We bonded :). I also marveled at the fact that she does, as my uncle mentioned almost as soon as we walked in the door, act just like I did at that age.
When it came time to plan out our wedding party, I so wanted my cousin to be the flower girl, but I worried that this would seem to sudden, too forceful. We've only jsut reconnected with that part of the family, after all.
But my aunt and uncle both loved the idea. And, apparently, so does my cousin, as she has taken to naming all of her new toys and dolls "Sarah." So, that was nicely settled, and I had a new, warm place in my heart, as a result.
Then, we got to talking about who would walk my mom down the aisle.
My mom wondered aloud at asking her brother to take on this task.
She debated and she pondered.
She asked him.
And he said yes.
And now, the family that was broken before a wedding six years ago is being brought back together by one now.
In early January, we found out that my uncle was very sick, and all of the reasons for the argument came tumbling down. For the first time, my mom and I were able to separate the rift with her mom from the rift with her brother. We both contacted my uncle, and since I knew I was going to be in Denver, anyway, I asked if I could come visit.
So, on the day after he became one, I was able to introduce WG, as my fiancé. It was the first time I'd seen my uncle in six years, and he and my aunt got tears in their eyes when they saw me, and my aunt started to cry harder when she learned that WG and I were planning on getting married.
My uncle has always been one of the two most important men in my life. He was, in many ways, like a second father. He was always around, always babysitting me or sharing in the "who's going to pick up Sarah from school?" nonsense. I know he took it seriously when he met the man I'm going to marry.
The initial visit went well, and in many ways, it was like no time had passed, and it felt so good to get a hug from my uncle again.
I played with the older of my two cousins, read her a book, helped comb out the hair on her my little ponies. We bonded :). I also marveled at the fact that she does, as my uncle mentioned almost as soon as we walked in the door, act just like I did at that age.
When it came time to plan out our wedding party, I so wanted my cousin to be the flower girl, but I worried that this would seem to sudden, too forceful. We've only jsut reconnected with that part of the family, after all.
But my aunt and uncle both loved the idea. And, apparently, so does my cousin, as she has taken to naming all of her new toys and dolls "Sarah." So, that was nicely settled, and I had a new, warm place in my heart, as a result.
Then, we got to talking about who would walk my mom down the aisle.
My mom wondered aloud at asking her brother to take on this task.
She debated and she pondered.
She asked him.
And he said yes.
And now, the family that was broken before a wedding six years ago is being brought back together by one now.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
A Different Kind of Story
Last night, as I enjoyed a hot bath and a good book, Marley, my cat, sat beside me on the tub, as he tends to do (he has also been known to surprise me in the shower). He was quiet and drowsy. His tail gently floated in the bubbles, and he didn't seem to mind.
Until he fell into the bathtub.
He stayed in the water for a full 30 seconds before he realized what he'd done and scrambled out of the bath.
Marley stood shaking his feet, trying to get the water off. He frantically licked his fur, as if that would make him dry faster.
I got out, got dressed and got out the hair dryer.
I stood him on his hind legs, rested his paws on my arm and turned on the dryer, running the hot air over his sopping wet body.
He looked up at me with his wide, orange eyes. I kissed the top of his head and kept going. I could see the fur drying. He started to fidget, so I let him go.
I opened the bathroom door, and he sat in the hallway, confused for a good three minutes. While he sat, looking shocked at the events that had transpired, I moved the space heater into the living room. I picked him up, surprising a meow out of him, and plopped that cat down right in front of the heater, where he sat, until he'd dried completely.
Then, he came and fell asleep on my lap.
The end :).
Until he fell into the bathtub.
He stayed in the water for a full 30 seconds before he realized what he'd done and scrambled out of the bath.
Marley stood shaking his feet, trying to get the water off. He frantically licked his fur, as if that would make him dry faster.
I got out, got dressed and got out the hair dryer.
I stood him on his hind legs, rested his paws on my arm and turned on the dryer, running the hot air over his sopping wet body.
He looked up at me with his wide, orange eyes. I kissed the top of his head and kept going. I could see the fur drying. He started to fidget, so I let him go.
I opened the bathroom door, and he sat in the hallway, confused for a good three minutes. While he sat, looking shocked at the events that had transpired, I moved the space heater into the living room. I picked him up, surprising a meow out of him, and plopped that cat down right in front of the heater, where he sat, until he'd dried completely.
Then, he came and fell asleep on my lap.
The end :).
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Wedding Wackiness
I knew going into this that there was a lot that would need to be done...and yesterday, I had a little bit of a meltdown. In my defense, I had a HUGE headache and was just feeling overwhelmed by the fact that I'd basically spent an entire day driving around the Sonoma Valley so that we could taste at one caterer's place of business.
My list just keeps getting longer.
Luckily, WG was wonderful and just let me list the things that were bothering me. He took my hand in his and just let me sit there in silence as he drove us back to our neck of the woods.
It's not all wedding madness - it's studying for the CSET, taking a psychology class that is required before I can begin any credential program, and dealing with the fact that I am at work 8 hours a day accomplishing none of what is on my list. Boo.
In good news...let's see what can I check off the wedding list:
Location -YES!! This was the big one, as you know.
Hotel for guests - as of about 30 minutes ago, I've confirmed that guests can get a discount if they book at a certain hotel.
Dress -mmmm, picked it out, thanks to a whirlwind trip to a bridal shop with my lovely bridesmaids and my mom. Now, I just need to find somewhere to buy it at a reasonable price.
Hair and Makeup - A silly little detail, but an important one, nonetheless. WG's sister will be doing the hair for the wedding party (she's a professional hairdresser...hurray for having helpful folks in the family), and a family friend is giving me a *slight* discount on makeup.
Flower Girl - My sweet little cousin and her bright red hair will happily bounce down the aisle as my flower girl.
Sigh. Just writing that list makes me feel calmer.
We're getting there.
And next? This weekend, WG's dad and stepmom will meet my parents. Let me now go and worry about that.
My list just keeps getting longer.
Luckily, WG was wonderful and just let me list the things that were bothering me. He took my hand in his and just let me sit there in silence as he drove us back to our neck of the woods.
It's not all wedding madness - it's studying for the CSET, taking a psychology class that is required before I can begin any credential program, and dealing with the fact that I am at work 8 hours a day accomplishing none of what is on my list. Boo.
In good news...let's see what can I check off the wedding list:
Location -YES!! This was the big one, as you know.
Hotel for guests - as of about 30 minutes ago, I've confirmed that guests can get a discount if they book at a certain hotel.
Dress -mmmm, picked it out, thanks to a whirlwind trip to a bridal shop with my lovely bridesmaids and my mom. Now, I just need to find somewhere to buy it at a reasonable price.
Hair and Makeup - A silly little detail, but an important one, nonetheless. WG's sister will be doing the hair for the wedding party (she's a professional hairdresser...hurray for having helpful folks in the family), and a family friend is giving me a *slight* discount on makeup.
Flower Girl - My sweet little cousin and her bright red hair will happily bounce down the aisle as my flower girl.
Sigh. Just writing that list makes me feel calmer.
We're getting there.
And next? This weekend, WG's dad and stepmom will meet my parents. Let me now go and worry about that.
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