On Moving Out (or On Living at Home)

I have lived at home for just over two and a half years of my post-college life.

It isn't always easy.

My parents love me, and we all know that I love my parents, but I'm also an "adult" (not quite ready to let the quotes go) living under my parents' roof. There are times when that is frustrating, and there are times when I do stop and wonder how I managed to be 25 and living at home.

I get out of those moments by realizing a few things from a practical standpoint. In my time at home, I have paid off my student loans, bought a car, paid for grad school and managed to start a tiny little nest egg. Had I been renting all of this time, or even any part of it, my financial status would certainly not be as stable.

I also use the emotional touchstones of living at home: I get to continue to nurture a positive relationship with my family. I can take care of the cats and dogs I begged to have when I was little. I get to go to the same church I've gone to since we moved to California.

And the other fun things: I get to cook and bake but don't have to pay for all of the ingredients (my mom's logic: my parents get to eat what I cook, so it's okay to let me use the family groceries), I live in a house in a safe neighborhood I could in no way, shape or form afford on my own.

Plus, despite all of my complaining to the contrary, "If I lived closer to the city, I would see my friends more," I do find that I get to see my friends and enjoy their company quite often :).

I AM capable of building a life while living at home, and the benefits do seem to outweigh the negatives, so much so that I don't even feel like naming the negatives!

So, these are my thoughts on living at home...and funnily enough, the grass is quite green on my own side of the fence, thank you very much!

Apparently, it takes 21 days to change a habit.

Lent is 40 (well 47, counting Holy Week).

Plenty of time for a Catholic girl to make a change, right?

So, did I do it? Did I successfully change my behavior?

First, let's go over Lent again. A few weeks ago, someone asked me, "But don't you have go give up something for Lent?" Well, it's true that you can give something up, but it's not necessarily something good that goes away. I didn't give up anything tangible like candy. Instead, I tried to make change in attitude and behavior. The point is, Lent calls us to make some sacrifice and do something difficult.

So, we're back to the original question. Did I do it? Was I successful?

I think I was. I still have work to do, but I'll never quite finish...or when I do, I hope to go to Heaven...so later is fine with me.

But I think that I have a difference in my life and hopefully in the lives of others as well. One of things I can say is that my attitude about work has most certainly changed. I do ask questions about certain tasks, but I ultimately get the job done without really complaining. I get clarification, rather than give complaints.

Another thing I've come to realize is that althought sometimes it should be the other person who calls first, I can make the choice to be the "bigger" person and make the call.

I did "let go" of some people in my life, but I have realized that these are important people, and that even if it was a friend who "started it," I didn't have to be a big whiny baby and wait for that friend to get back in touch.

It also helps that I had a dream last night that one of my best friends from high school called at some distant point in the future, and as we talked, I realized that she had missed my wedding and didn't know about a lot of other good things in my life, and I didn't know anything about hers. I want her IN my wedding, not finding out about after the fact. So, I decided to call her, because she IS important. Whether or not she calls back is up to her, but I made the choice to step away from the e-mail and pick up the phone. And y'all who know my fondness for e-mail may well know how difficult that was for me, hahaha :).

So, in a rather large nutshell, yes, Lent and Easter made a difference in my life. I'm on track but it's a daily effort to be a better person. I make no guarantees that this will stick, but please gently remind me when I wander off track.

So...Hayley and Ryan got married a week ago.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful and pretty much flawless. Hayley looked gorgeous in her silk gown and old-Hollywood glamour hair and makeup. Ryan looked adorable in his tux, wearing a big ole grin on his face. That's the one thing I noticed about their wedding that I can't say about others I've been to: The Bride and Groom smiled the ENTIRE TIME. It's refreshing to see two people so genuinely happy to get married and to be together. Rock on Hayley and Ryan!

The reception at the Officer's Club at the Presidio was elegant and lovely and completely Hayley. I still stand by the statement that if the whole bio-engineering thing should grow tiresome, Hayley should go into wedding and/or party planning. She had every last detail covered.

It was fun to play hostess/bouncer at the reception with Marie, Richard and Ron. We didn't actually turn anyone away, but we did have a bit of an interesting situation when someone who had RSVP'd "regrets" actually showed up at the wedding. Note to wedding guests: If you say you're not going to come, don't come. Marie had carefully counted every last seat and organized with the caterers to make sure each table had the appropriate number of chairs. Thank goodness there were still seats available, but really now...

Bouncer duties over, I had the chance to sit down and catch up with the lovely folks at my table, dine on the fabulous cuisine and yummy ice cream and dance the night away. Hayley did her bridal duties and visited each table before finally relaxing with her bowl of ice cream at ours :Þ.

All in all, it was a fabulous day, and I'm so honored to have been a part of it. I wish all the best to Hayley and Ryan! Congratulations & Aloha!

Today is a special day.

Why?

Well, it seems that it's the birthday of someone VERY important.

That's right.

It's...uh...hmmm...?

Ooooh, yes. IT'S MY MOMMY'S BIRTHDAY!

So, even though I'm sure everyone (including her) already knows how much I love her (yes, I'm one of the fortunate few women who has a terrific relationship with her mom), but you know, considering that it's her birthday, here are a few reasons why:

* She loved me far before I was ever born (or conceived, for that matter)
* She hasn't always had the best of luck, but she does always try to make the best of a situation.
* She proves to me, in good ways, that we never stop growing up, just because we turn 18 or 21 or 30 or 40 or 50...life is an ongoing process, and she's always willing to better herself.
* She talks to me and listens to me. She's my friend AND my mama, and she doesn't compromise on either of those things. She's never tried to be more my friend than my parent, and I really appreciate that. I need my mommy to be my mother, and she is :).

...Also....she's niiiiiiiice :)

(inside joke...another thing I love about my mommy - we have this great ability to carry on an inside joke for years and years and years....and years...and years, and still find it wildly hysterical when someone says, oh, I don't know, "guess what...you..." aahhhhaaaa).

So, that's all.

HAPPPPPPPPYYYYYYY BIIIIIIIIRRRRRTTTTTHHHHDDDDDAAAAYYYYY, MOMMY!

(and as Simon Cowell would say, "That posting was rather indulgent, don't you think?" Yes, I do, but it's my blog, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRFDAY! HOPPY BIRTDAY! and all that jazz :Þ).