Some people will say you are going the wrong way
When it is simply a way of your own.
(This is my mantra. I must repeat it to myself several hundred times each day.)
((I start a temp job tomorrow. Yeah. I have to commute. Yuck.))
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Suddenly, it's Fall. On Monday, it was 104 Degrees. Today, a mere three days later, it didn't top 72. The difference? Tuesday was the first day of Fall. I've smelled that hint of all in the heat over the past couple of weeks, but it's here now. It's more than "smelling Fall in the air," it's pretty much here in full force.
It doesn't help that I have a cold, complete with aches, fever, a runny nose, and the burning need to take a two hour nap in the afternoon. That makes it all seem a little more wintery than summery.
The air feels different in the Fall. The air weighs less - there's no "oppressive heat," and the sun sets soon, and the nights are colder. It's now possible to go into a building at 6:00, wearing shorts and sunglasses and come out at 8:00 wishing I had brought a sweater and wondering when it got so dark.
On the upside, I like Fall.
p.s. how can people NOT READ? It's a concept I just don't get, especially as we run head first into long winter notes where a book is the kindest company.
It doesn't help that I have a cold, complete with aches, fever, a runny nose, and the burning need to take a two hour nap in the afternoon. That makes it all seem a little more wintery than summery.
The air feels different in the Fall. The air weighs less - there's no "oppressive heat," and the sun sets soon, and the nights are colder. It's now possible to go into a building at 6:00, wearing shorts and sunglasses and come out at 8:00 wishing I had brought a sweater and wondering when it got so dark.
On the upside, I like Fall.
p.s. how can people NOT READ? It's a concept I just don't get, especially as we run head first into long winter notes where a book is the kindest company.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
GIANTS WIN!!! 8-7 v. San Diego
The game was great....the Giants were running a special "Big Game" promotion, so my section was full of CAL fans...we made a fantastic showing, I gotta say!
Ok. I will only make one comment on Stanfurd. Their band performed the National Anthem. Several of the members were next-to-naked in their ridiculous costumes. How disrespectful.
GOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!
The game was great....the Giants were running a special "Big Game" promotion, so my section was full of CAL fans...we made a fantastic showing, I gotta say!
Ok. I will only make one comment on Stanfurd. Their band performed the National Anthem. Several of the members were next-to-naked in their ridiculous costumes. How disrespectful.
GOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!
Friday, September 12, 2003
"I'm not after the kid with the Golden Chariot; I'm after the knight. Not the hapless fellow who can't even keep his intended from bolting at midnight, who wanders around waving shoes at random girls, but the invincible, the perfectly certain guy on the horse, the one who comes galloping in with a map and bests the foes and sweeps me onto his horse and takes me away. This guy knows where he's going; he's got the route mapped, so that I can just rest for even the littlest while, my cheek against the horse's white mane, my eyes closed, the horse gliding through the world while I float on sleepy, safe, dreams, the knight strong at my back, the horse's spine, its warm solid flesh, the beat of the hooves something like music. For once, someone else takes the reins and chooses the way."
From Juniper Tree Burning
(the book that was waiting for me on the clearance table at Barnes and Noble)
From Juniper Tree Burning
(the book that was waiting for me on the clearance table at Barnes and Noble)
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Before I start my regular writing of something other than personal musings (writing stuff that I don't post for the world to see), I do have to clear my head of the things that now occupy my mind. I'm listening to the new John Mayer CD, and it only seems appropriate to comment on it, since my blog would not have a name, were it not for John Mayer.
People ask me what is attractive about Mr. Mayer - about him personally and about the music. I have to say that it's the music itself that makes me attracted to him. I've seen him perform live twice, and he is totally consumed by the music, caught up in the solo guitar movements. I truly enjoy listening to the music and watching him perform. He's a passionate performer. I appreciate that in an age of lip sync and dance-heavy concerts. His music is attractive, because the words touch on something that I'm going through or have recently gone through. He most certainly has a grasp on the concept of what happens in the minds of people in their early-mid twenties. It's an odd time of life, and I'm grateful that at least one musician understands this.
John Mayer's Heavier Things hit stores yesterday, and I'm listening it today. For those of you who know me, reading that I'm listening to a CD the day after I got it will tell you how much I like John Mayer (For those of you who don't, I'm notorious for "saving" things and not opening them until I have completed some task, whether that be getting a job, finishing exams or getting through a dreaded event).
This particular music makes me crave a gathering with my friends, a talk-fest that lasts several hours and leaves us all rolling in laughter. This music makes me crave the sort of love I thought possible early on in adolescence (I'm a bit skeptical about the whole notion of love at the moment...too much time spent sans significant other). This music makes me want to succeed. This music makes me feel glad to be alive and not guilty for having so much going on in my head. This music makes me feel better about myself and the way I think.
Does that answer that question?
People ask me what is attractive about Mr. Mayer - about him personally and about the music. I have to say that it's the music itself that makes me attracted to him. I've seen him perform live twice, and he is totally consumed by the music, caught up in the solo guitar movements. I truly enjoy listening to the music and watching him perform. He's a passionate performer. I appreciate that in an age of lip sync and dance-heavy concerts. His music is attractive, because the words touch on something that I'm going through or have recently gone through. He most certainly has a grasp on the concept of what happens in the minds of people in their early-mid twenties. It's an odd time of life, and I'm grateful that at least one musician understands this.
John Mayer's Heavier Things hit stores yesterday, and I'm listening it today. For those of you who know me, reading that I'm listening to a CD the day after I got it will tell you how much I like John Mayer (For those of you who don't, I'm notorious for "saving" things and not opening them until I have completed some task, whether that be getting a job, finishing exams or getting through a dreaded event).
This particular music makes me crave a gathering with my friends, a talk-fest that lasts several hours and leaves us all rolling in laughter. This music makes me crave the sort of love I thought possible early on in adolescence (I'm a bit skeptical about the whole notion of love at the moment...too much time spent sans significant other). This music makes me want to succeed. This music makes me feel glad to be alive and not guilty for having so much going on in my head. This music makes me feel better about myself and the way I think.
Does that answer that question?
Thursday, September 04, 2003
Two new books at Barnes and Noble - $11.97
Browsing Magazines while sipping a warm beverage - $3.75
That warm fuzzy feeling of enjoying the pleasure of someone's company - Priceless
(Maybe it's the Chai, maybe it's knowing that life's too short to read a bad book, or maybe, just maybe, it's a little something called "happy.")
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
I've been watching old episodes of Felicity (on DVD - my roommate got me hooked for the last season in 2002, and now I want to know how it all started) in between searching for a job, deciding on a new grad school/grad program and otherwise keeping myself busy. Now, I'm thinking in questions like Felicity does - or is it more like Carrie on Sex and The City? In any case, I've got some questions rolling around in my head.
Is it possible to just start all over fresh? Can I be a life virgin? They talk about "re-virginization" for people who want to cleanse themselves of their past sexual encounters. I don't have that to worry about, but I feel like I'm completely starting over this year. In many ways, some good and some bad, the last year has cleansed me of Berkeley. It has made me crave it, but it's also created so many new memories that I'm not quite sure who I am anymore. I've lost some of my confidence - it's a tough job market, and I wasn't exactly challenging myself mentally (emotionally, yes) over the last few months, and I feel like I've dumbed down a bit. I feel like a completely different person.
Also, I feel like I've been cleansed of all past non-relationships. It's been over a year since I've had anything to be excited/bitter/anxious/joyous/indifferent about, and I no longer feel anything specific when love songs come on the radio. Maybe it's a revirginization of my soul - that's not such a bad thing, I supppose, but is that what's happened? Do I have to relearn everything I've struggled to pass through my feeble social mind?
As happy as I am to be home - and that's what I actually am right now, happy, or at the least, content (which is nothing to laugh at), I've still got that urge to run. Right now, I've got no money with which to do that, but I still want to see New York, and I want to go back to Europe. Since I've left already, I'm no longer satisified being only here. I'm looking forward to travelling with my family this winter, but I'd like some opportunties of my own.
I'm not settled, that much I know.
p.s. Here's to all of us who are no longer "in da club." I think the club might even be disbanded...am I right?
Is it possible to just start all over fresh? Can I be a life virgin? They talk about "re-virginization" for people who want to cleanse themselves of their past sexual encounters. I don't have that to worry about, but I feel like I'm completely starting over this year. In many ways, some good and some bad, the last year has cleansed me of Berkeley. It has made me crave it, but it's also created so many new memories that I'm not quite sure who I am anymore. I've lost some of my confidence - it's a tough job market, and I wasn't exactly challenging myself mentally (emotionally, yes) over the last few months, and I feel like I've dumbed down a bit. I feel like a completely different person.
Also, I feel like I've been cleansed of all past non-relationships. It's been over a year since I've had anything to be excited/bitter/anxious/joyous/indifferent about, and I no longer feel anything specific when love songs come on the radio. Maybe it's a revirginization of my soul - that's not such a bad thing, I supppose, but is that what's happened? Do I have to relearn everything I've struggled to pass through my feeble social mind?
As happy as I am to be home - and that's what I actually am right now, happy, or at the least, content (which is nothing to laugh at), I've still got that urge to run. Right now, I've got no money with which to do that, but I still want to see New York, and I want to go back to Europe. Since I've left already, I'm no longer satisified being only here. I'm looking forward to travelling with my family this winter, but I'd like some opportunties of my own.
I'm not settled, that much I know.
p.s. Here's to all of us who are no longer "in da club." I think the club might even be disbanded...am I right?
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